It’s been a while since I’ve posted on here. About two months ago I started experiencing a fairly severe depression again, perhaps due to some situational things and also side effects from the clozapine.
In my last post, I said clozapine was my miracle drug. That it was, until it started causing severe urinary incontinence – embarrassing to say the least. It also sedated me to the point where I couldn’t really wake up in the morning, and I would snooze my alarm for hours at a time. It also seemed to dampen my creativity, due to a lack of intrusive thoughts, which aren’t always bad. I also rarely remembered dreams while on clozapine. Plus I gained another 30 pounds, the 30 pounds I’d recently worked so hard to lose.
Due to all of these factors, my psychiatrist and I decided to take me off the clozapine and increase my lurasidone (Latuda) again. I’m not really sure what comes next, if I go back to the up-and-down I was at before. Hopefully I’m at a spot situationally where I don’t crash again.
On the bright side – a very, very bright side – I’m able to be excited about something. A trip to Italy and Greece with my mom and aunt. I’m a little nervous, but hopeful that it will be a good time. I only went off the clozapine a couple days ago, so my psychiatrist recommended bringing enough to take if I crash and burn and need it.
Since stopping it, my side effects have improved. I’ve even noticed a decrease in my appetite, which will be helpful for losing weight again. That was not helped by the recent depression either.
I’ll be uploading pictures of my trip to my personal/gaming Instagram account, which you can find at the top or bottom of this page, as well as on my “about me” page. Unfortunately, my depression caused a dip in my uploading gaming videos on YouTube and streaming on Twitch. Hopefully by the time I come back from my trip, I’ll be feeling up to making videos regularly again. It’ll take a while to regain the algorithm’s favor. If you want to help me feel better, check out my YouTube videos – the link is at the top or bottom of this page or on my “about me” page. I take pride in being good background noise.
Thanks for reading this, anyway. I don’t know what life will look like now, but I’m hoping for the best.
Rory's Write Place 