It’s been a while since I’ve put out one of these personal updates. A lot of changes have been made. I experienced those adverse side effects from Cobenfy often enough that we decided to stop the drug entirely – it seemed to stabilize my mood, sort of, but I was at a very low emotional point where I was spending about 20 hours a day in bed. I think the last video I put up on my YouTube channel was about three months ago, as I was too low to even get on my computer at all. I hadn’t been writing or doing much of anything until the most recent med changes.
First, we changed my antidepressant to a low dose of venlafaxine (Effexor), as my previous antidepressant, duloxetine (Cymbalta), had negative interactions with Cobenfy. We thought that maybe if we added a low dose of venlafaxine to my Cobenfy, we could bring my mood up. But those side effects – blurry vision, nausea, dizziness, cold sweats, confusion, plus more – were just too much for me to handle, despite medications such as ondansetron (Zofran), as they were unpredictable and would take out a huge chunk of my day.
This came to a head when I went to Spokane with my boyfriend to celebrate my birthday in March. The first night we were there, the side effects hit, as well as the day we were supposed to leave. It made for a rough morning on the road. After that, I knew I couldn’t stay on Cobenfy.
So my psychiatrist tapered me off of Cobenfy. By that point, he thought I needed more mood stabilization, as I was very animated and speaking fast at my appointment – signs of mood cycling. He added a low dose of risperidone (Risperdal) to my med cocktail.
I tried risperidone about eleven years ago, back when I was first diagnosed at 16. Unfortunately, I would have been on a high dose of antidepressants as well, making the mood effects hard to differentiate, and my medication was just a mess. Plus it was so long ago that I don’t remember how well it worked. So my psychiatrist decided to give it another try now.
This change from Cobenfy to Risperdal happened about a month ago now. It’s been an emotional adjustment for me. I had spent the last three months in bed for 16-20 hours or so a day. I still get tired if I don’t get a nap in during the day. But the overwhelming desire to be in bed is not as strong now, and I actually want to do activities that I enjoy.
Risperdal has come with another unwelcome side effect that I’m all too familiar with: urinary incontinence. It happened with clozapine, it happened with Abilify. We believe I must just be prone to that side effect. However, we’ve been able to treat it with another drug called benztropine. A clue to the puzzle was provided by Cobenfy, actually, in that when I was on Cobenfy, I didn’t have to use the bathroom several times a night like usual. I don’t know exactly what my psychiatrist said when I pointed that out, but he seemed to think that a specific receptor must be causing it, and that’s why he prescribed benztropine, which seems to be helping control that side effect.
Risperdal does seem to be helping stabilize my mood. I’ve felt pretty good the last few weeks. I had an appointment with vocational rehabilitation, AKA voc rehab, which is a government agency that helps people with disabilities get and maintain work. They made up a profile for me and connected me with job service groups, and someone there has found me what they call a “work experience” as a part time dog washer at a dog grooming place. This essentially means that I will work there as an employee, but the agency’s connected people are paying me instead of the employer. At the end of this work experience, the company may decide to hire me on as an employee if they like me and I want the job.
I might be starting that next week. I’m meeting the owner, with the guy who found the job for me, later this week. Hopefully my medication keeps doing its job and I find success with this company. If not, though, it will provide evidence in my favor for my SSI case, which has its next hearing coming up in late August. So I have time to succeed or fail beforehand.
I’m editing a couple videos to go up on my YouTube channel and working on a poem for my Patreon tonight. I’m hoping that I’ll be able to do these things more consistently again, now that I’m feeling good. The job may make me feel worse again, or it may help me power through even more. Only time will tell.
Rory's Write Place 